Twitch
by TweekingOut
Summary: Looks can be deceiving. Carteek! Eventual Creek!
1. Prolouge

Prolouge

I have begun a relationship with the most evil, sick minded person in the whole of South Park. Maybe even the world. But none of that matters. I'm perfectly fine with it, in fact, I am Eric Cartman and the person I just described….

Is Tweek Tweak.

Alright I know what your thinking. Tweek? Our lovable little caffeinated twitch? Nah. Not our Tweek. He wouldn't hurt a fly. Well hear me out, you couldn't be more wrong. He is anything but that, but I'm the only one who knows.

**AN/ This my freinds, is Carteek. Its weird and make no sence whatsoever but it should make for a good story. Can i just say, this isnt an original idea, somone posted somthing similar a while ago but never got past the 5th chapter so i am going to try and finish it!**


	2. Annoying Ticks and Cancer Sticks

Everyone felt sorry for him._I_felt sorry for him. And anyone who knows me knows I'm not the type to feel sympathy to anyone for any reason. But how could we not? From what we knew about him at the time, Tweek Tweak was a jittery little blonde with horrible anxiety issues, an unfortunate addiction to coffee, and a possible case of schizophrenia.

That image of him was completely shattered for me on a day that should have been perfectly normal but, thanks to a couple of horrible decisions, led us to where we are now.

It started with a panic attack during English. Knowing only what I knew about him then, this would be a perfectly normal thing. Especially during a group project. (Its way too much pressure!) Mr. Garrison (who seemed to some how end up becoming our teacher no matter how old we got) told him he could leave the room to calm down. Now, this is where the bad decisions come in.

"Mr. Garrison, I'll help him." In all honesty I just wanted to get out of the classroom since I was about to die of boredom. Apparently the rest of the class was pretty shocked but Garrison wanted me out of his classroom anyway.

"I _nngh_ don't need any help..." Tweek said, grabbing the thermos he had started bringing to school with him around sixth grade and the shoulder bag he carried instead of a backpack. Our eyes met briefly and I caught a bit of... anger? Then I knew I had to go with him.

"Nonsense Tweekie, after such a violent attack you must be exhausted. Here, let me carry that for you." I snatched the Thermos from his hand and pulled him by the sleeve out of the classroom. A flurry of whispers erupting as I dragged him out of the classroom.

Aside from his occasional outbursts, our little walk was surprisingly quiet, a little bit a little uncomfortable since the whole time I was sure I could feel his pretty little green eyes staring daggers at me. I wasn't too sure where we were going but our destination turned out to be the 2nd floor boys bathroom.

This particular bathroom happened to be known for many things. Including being nearly soundproof (according to Kenny), having the goth kids smoke in it at lunch, and for having an extremely loud door that gave perfect warning for anyone doing something against school rules to stop whatever it was they were doing. Granted I didn't fully understand the situation yet, I still knew something was up.

"Alright fat ass, you got me." He pulled a carton of cigarettes from his bag and leaned up against a stall. "But I don't know what good it'll do you. If you haven't noticed, you aren't very credible." He laughed and ran a hand through his unruly blonde hair. Perfectly calm. No shakes, no shivers, no jitters... It was like he had suddenly become a completely different person right before my eyes. Even his voice was different. So calm and unstrained.

If it were anyone else, I would have just played it off as me knowing the whole time and blackmailed them with it later but this was just too much. No one would ever believe this. I didn't even know whether to be completely pissed or totally turned on. You know, in an absolutely not gay and extremely manly way... A few minutes of awkward silence passed. Tweek was content to smoke in peace as I put my thoughts together. My maniputalive mind working at full capacity I see no way of using this little situation to my advantage.

Then it dawned on me. I have a camera phone. It's a phone…. But its also a camera, that's perfect. I stealthily removed it from my pocket.

"What's the point of acting that way? You can't possibly be getting anything out of it." If I could just record this he would never be able to live it down.

He laughed. "Why the fuck not? Come on Chubby, its genius isn't it? I get away with more shit than you do!"

He was right. The blonde didn't even have to participate in PE, he wasn't expected to complete assignments, and since he seemed so helpless, there were people who'd do absolutely anything for him. Hell, he could get away with complete muder and the school would take his side, no questions asked. This power only served to make him more attractive.

God, Hitler would love him... Right, camera phone. No time to delay. "Oh it is genius. Now, smile for the camera!" I revealed the phone to him but he didn't seem impressed.

"A picture won't do a thing. I'll just say you forced me to do this, its your word against mine fat ass." He dropped said cigarette to the floor and crushed it into the tile with his boot. "Oh Jesus! Maybe you even _ack_ drugged me!" In a second Tweek was shaking again and clutching at his hair, bent over in that awkward way he usually stood. "I _gah_ I didn't know what to do!" Then it was gone again. He looked back up at me grinning manically.

"It's on record."

"It's what?"

"It's on record. I'm capturing every word you say and I can show it to every one." I hit the 'end' button on my phone and labeled the video "Twitch". Then I calmly put it in my back pocket. That'll show him to mess with me... Of course, it obviously didn't show him anything.

"Give me the phone." he dropped his bag to the ground. I should have just given it to him right then. That would have saved me a lot of trouble.

"No."


	3. Cold and Hard

**AN/ Thanks for the reveiws so far guys! Feel free to pitch ideas, i will try and get them all in!**

"Give me the fucking phone."

"Why don't you make me? I bet you still don't know how to fight. What's wrong Tweek, you scared? How about we come to a deal? I'm sure you'd make a great slave." I was taunting him the same way I taunted Kyle but there was no response. Just a punch in the face. A punch to the face, a kick to the nuts, left jab, straight right, left hook. I was on the ground pretty quick... not that it stopped him.

His barrage of punches seemed completely unrelenting. Unable to block or catch most of his punches, I ended up worse off than the time I had been attacked by Wendy for my comments on breast cancer. By the time he was finished with me I was barely conscious enough to acknowledge his laughter.

"Ughh I s-swear to god I'll _nn_... I'll make you eat your parents..." I tried to sit up but upon further inspection of my situation, I realized he was sitting on my stomach. Actually, to be more accurate, he was straddling my stomach. Which would have been a lot more enjoyable if it weren't for the pain.

"Oh you will, will you?" Tweek leaned his face down close to mine and licked his lips slowly. "I bet they'll be _delicious_."

I smiled and raised my head a bit to press my forehead against his. "Just look at me. How could you explain this? When we meet up with everyone else they'll know you're the only one who could have done it." Sexual tension was taking a backseat to our little power play. After all, he'd be desperate after his secret got out and everyone hated him and he ate his parents and maybe a few of his best friends too... I could just imagine him begging me...

"Well what if you ran into a little bully before we got here?"

"And what if I didn't?"

"Then we might have a bit of a problem." He tapped a fist against my jaw. "Wouldn't it be a shame if you weren't able to tell your side of the story?" I got the message instantly. The thought of helpless little Tweek breaking my jaw was more scary than anything I'd encountered in a long time.

"Or maybe," the blonde continued, moving his slender hand down to grab my neck. "I could just finish what I started..." Unlike Kyle, I wasn't completely sure Tweek wouldn't kill me. So I switched up my battle tactics and did something I had wanted to do the whole time we had been ditching class together. I kissed him. Thanks to the broken nose and the bloody lip, it hurt like a bitch but it was deffinitely worth it.

For the record, the things I find most sexy are blondes, people with the balls to stand up to me, and myself. Tweek was two of those things. And if I wasn't the third thing on that list, I'd probably have been a lot more shocked when he kissed me back. All my pain and pride melted away as I focused the blonde. My blonde. On his lips, the taste of his tongue, his soft skin...

Before long our positions had switched. He was the one on his back with his arms around my neck and his shirt half buttoned and... Then I heard the door opening.

Even now, I'm not sure whether Tweek really wanted to kiss me that time, or if he just had incredible timing. It stands to reason that I could've been so punch-drunk at that point that I imagined him winking at me... Of course, that wouldn't change the fact that the last two things I saw before blacking out were Craig and Clyde...


End file.
